Certain times of the year, I find emotional healing particularly challenging. Like every March.

This is the time of year that I feel like I am at the edge of the deep end of a pool on a stormy day, acutely aware that at any time a gust of wind could come up behind me and push me right in. The cold water would be a shock. Thankfully, the erratic flailing of my limbs would keep me afloat as I struggle to breathe. As I attempt to keep my head above water, I frantically seek out the pool edge and begin to make my way to it…only to find that as I move closer, the edge moves further and further away.

This is the time of year that we honor the life of our beloved little one that passed back in March of 2014.

I know that at any moment, painful memories could grab hold of me and run. In the past I have found myself petrified by the pain, so I know that it is coming. Coping with emotions and grief has been challenging as I wasn’t always sure of the magnitude of the emotional roller coaster I’d be experiencing.

It’s taken time to get to this point, where I don’t feel that the mere mention of Kelcy’s name would make me well up. Rather, I sense her sweet joy while dancing with the angels.

But it’s taken a LOT of work.

Therapy. Mind/body work. Mindfulness meditation. Introspection. Examining my spirituality.

It’s taken time, but every year does get a tiny bit easier. Even though it always is tough, coping with emotions is tricky. At this point, however, I feel I have alchemized the lessons that this experience had to bring to me, and I am able to see the blessings in it.

Of course, I honor the experience and the lessons this painful experience had to teach me. I know that when the storm of emotion comes, I will honor it and allow it to pass through.

One thing I have come to realize about emotional healing (especially grief) through this experience is that although healing does take place, the story still remains. The emotional attachment to the story will continue to bubble up each time parts of it are retold.

Emotional Healing – The Mind-Body Connection

THE most important thing to remember is that emotions hold a charge in the body. It’s almost electric, like an energetic charge. As long as someone’s emotional attachment to their story continues to hold that energetic charge, they will experience it as if it occurring for the first time, over and over…with the same intensity. This energetic charge works against the human body in the sense that it informs the brain to keep preparing to fight or flee…even if the story is over. This leads to dis-ease.

Language, I tell ya. It really does make emotional healing difficult.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

When was the last time you saw a dog depressed because her boyfriend decided to leave her for another “hot” dog?

Yeah…doesn’t happen. But where would humankind be without stories? Why is it that we have the capacity to tell the same stories over and over, driving specific emotions out from the depths of our being? What is the purpose?

In really diving deep, I have come to realize that maybe we have these experiences to guide our “souls” (or whatever you want to call it). Let me explain.

Click Below for Your FREE Emotional Power Meditation

• Trade painful emotions for power.
• Connect with what is true for you through the wisdom of your body.
• Get emotionally unstuck.

GET IT HERE

The Nature of Struggle

Humans crave struggle. It may sound masochistic, but it’s what keeps us going.

During our very short time here on Earth, it goes without saying that emotional pain and struggle are unavoidable. For example: from the time of conception, you have been struggling. I mean, what are the odds that one sperm out of 250 million created YOU? It had to struggle to get to that egg, man. Struggle is the nature of being alive.

The truth is, humans love problems. They get fixated on problems so much that they forget the beauty in life’s simplest pleasures. The thing is, struggle is a form of a problem. Believe it or not, it is our duty to encounter emotional struggles during our time on this planet. These struggles are actually what allows us, as these strange being we are, to go from Point A (at birth) to Point B (transitioning into our next form of existence, whatever that might be).

They encourage us to break out of our shell and expand. When things are comfortable, life gets boring. Experiencing a lack of struggle can actually lead to depression since the rational, thinking brain needs a bone to chew on. When it doesn’t have this, it resorts to ruminating over stories that aren’t even real. Pretty soon, Aunt Beth’s roast beef hash triggered a memory of the time your brother pinched you, and next thing you know you’re whimpering like a baby in the fetal position on the floor as you inhale a gallon of ice cream.

This is what happens when your emotions take the lead. What you want, however, is for your inner guidance to take the lead in coping with emotions.

Of course, this takes time and skill to develop, but I will tell you where you need to start.

Allow your emotions to be. Watch them. Sense them. FEEL them in your body.

Allow your inner guide to assume the role of The Watcher as you allow your emotions to rise. What is the quality of the emotion? Where do you feel it in your body? How would you describe it? A rather interesting post about this particular topic can be found here: How Stress Affects the Body and What You Can Do About It.

Turn toward creativity for coping with emotions

Emotions carry energy just like our minds, bodies, and spirits do. In fact, emotional energy has the potential to weigh our bodies down more than anything else. This is why I spend so much time focusing on the “voices” of the body. They’re fueled by emotion. The best thing you can do with an excess of emotional energy is 1. Acknowledge it, and 2. Process it. Dance it off. Paint it off. Write it off. Saw it off (if you happen to be a woodcutter. I’m not suggesting that you saw off any limbs!). You get the picture. When emotion stays in the body and goes unprocessed, it causes dis-ease. A build-up of nasty hormone juju that will certainly lead to autoimmune disease, sleeplessness, anxiety, and cancer just to name a few.

Allow yourself to turn excessive emotional energy into CREATIVE energy. Let it move through you. In the end, give GRATITUDE that you have had the opportunity to transmute your experience in this way. Throughout my life, I have used writing to help me process strong emotional energy. You can check out this post for more: How Writing Helped Me Heal.

Do you need help accessing your inner guidance for coping with emotions?

I have got a really nifty goodie for you if you are looking for help on transforming your emotions into something that can be of help. It’s a little meditation that is just ideal for helping you notice what is happening in your body, then moving on to identifying any strong emotions that are “living” in it. Finally, it will help you work with that emotional energy in a way that is constructive. It’s and Emotional Power meditation. You can find the download for that below.

In closing…

Emotional healing, particularly grief, can be extremely challenging. The thing is, everyday events have the potential to trigger a bubbling up of some of these emotions at any time. By allowing yourself to notice the presence of the emotion in your body, the thought that is linked to it, and the story behind it, it is possible to powerfully shift the reality of the current moment so that you’re not constantly reliving the emotional trauma of an event that happened long ago. Remember to give yourself some time to practice this skill. This tool was created to do just that: Download your free Emotional Power Meditation HERE.

Either leave a comment below or feel free to email us at toni@toniandkim.com to let us know how this works for you.

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