When was the last time you allowed yourself to shove your to-do list aside and simply allow what FEELS good to guide you throughout your day? To-do lists aren’t necessarily a bad thing. They make us productive. However, they aren’t very practical when it comes to living life authentically. This is where using your body’s wisdom to find yourself can come in really handy.

I have to be honest. Between the time that I started having babies (at age 18) and the time that my sweet stepdaughter passed away, I was glued to my to-do list. I remember attempting to cram entirely too much into my day…including relaxation. If I didn’t accomplish every single thing on my list, I would proceed to beat myself up for not being super-human. I would stare at my family, longingly, as they would sit and watch movies in the living room. I told myself I simply wasn’t allowed to do this since I had too much to do.

I was obsessed with getting so very much accomplished.

Even before the day began, I felt like a failure. Although I would wake up excited for what the day was about to bring to me, I also felt suffocated by all of the tasks that were vying for my attention. I felt guilty that I was unable to give my girls the attention that they deserved. When I did permit myself to spend time with them, I felt as if the claws of unaccomplished tasks were digging into me.

I simply wasn’t able to keep up. I felt alone. I wished that there could just be 3 more hours in the day. Time was my enemy.

But then all of that changed.

After my stepdaughter passed…things changed. Grief caused life to stand still. Nothing could have made this stillness louder than my body’s inability to move.

As one that was addicted to physical movement and exercise, I was dumbfounded that all that I could do after the wake of this storm was sit in stillness and cry.

This was my body’s way of revealing to me what was absolutely true for me. Sure, I could shove my physical desire to BE in stillness and “will” myself to do something that required more physical effort. However, pushing myself felt wrong to me. It felt as if I wasn’t giving not only my body, but my mind, my emotions, and my spirit the space that they needed to alchemize the events that had transpired.

To BE with the spirit of truth.

This was the time that I finally understood what my Nia practice had been trying to tell me all along – to follow the path of pleasure…of what FEELS good…to my truth.

Find yourself using your body’s wisdom

One thing that is missing from our culture, overall, is a deep connection and functional relationship with the body. This is sad since our human bodies hold so much deep wisdom for us. This means that it is incredibly difficult to find yourself. It doesn’t matter what your background is. Maintaining this relationship with your body is something that takes daily attention and care. It doesn’t matter if you consider yourself a superhuman do-er, a spiritually-minded follower of ancient wisdom, a super fit work-out buff, or a highly gifted intellectual. As humans, we all have a responsibility to focus on physical awareness in order to access absolute TRUTH. This takes absolute presence.

Here are the 4 steps I use to access my truth.

1. The very first step you need to take to get in touch with the voices of your body is to climb into it. This is a relatively easy thing to do with a little bit of help. Luckily, this Body Scan Meditation is here to help. I swear by this and do it several times a day. You can even make this part of your morning routine since this is one you’ll want to do daily. 
2. To find yourself, you need to learn what feels good to you. First things first. Let’s talk a little bit about the word “pleasure”. This is another one that Western culture has demonized for being associated with what so many believe is filthy. Let’s get one thing straight: It is not necessary for you to beat yourself up for feeling good. One of the reasons that our vices are so damaging in our culture (leading to addiction) is that we have been taught to ignore and even punish ourselves for doing things that allow us to enjoy our lives. DO THIS: Think about a moment in your life that was INCREDIBLE. How did your body feel in that moment? How would you describe it? THIS is your “compass point” toward moving toward your right life. Here’s the deal: HONORING sensations of desire (a.k.a. what feels good) within your body will lead you to make decisions in your life that are in direct alignment with your soul’s purpose.
3. Find out what feels not so good. Many people are surprised, when they really begin to do this, that they have been engaging in activities that really make them feel bad about themselves. This is another result of living in a society where we have been taught to ignore our own wants and needs for the sake of fitting in with everybody else. This is a practice that is incredibly eye-opening and it requires a great deal of presence. Here’s a trick: Think about an experience from your past that you don’t ever want to revisit again. It doesn’t need to be traumatic—just not very pleasurable. Next, notice how your body FEELS, physically, when you think about that event. How would you describe the sensations? What does this make you want to do? This is now your “compass point” to let you know what to stay away from. An incredibly useful in helping you find yourself.
4. Follow what feels good (pleasure) to inform decisions. Following pleasure is much simpler (and less porny) than it sounds. It’s all about paying attention to how things feel, physically, to you and choosing to change the circumstances if need be. Do you like the way that your bed feels? The way that your chair feels? Are you feeling the need to get up and walk around? How does the idea of cooking yourself up a bowl of ramen feel? What tastes good to you? How can you could make this moment absolutely divine, physically, just so that you can get a good idea of what “good” feels like? What is it that you physically FEEL you would like to do right now? If you’re getting a physical nudge to do something that doesn’t involve hurting anyone or small animals, by all means, DO IT. Once you master this for moment-to-moment situations, try using it to inform your decisions about your next vacation, whether or not you should purchase a new car, deciding whether or not you should really marry that guy you’ve known for only 3 months, etc. If it feels GREAT, like pleasure, it’s a “YES!” If it feels more like you’re wading in the waters of doom, that would be a “NO!”

Sometimes stress can make your system feel totally discombobulated. It, too, leads to a break down in the body’s natural defenses. It can make it incredibly hard to “tune in” to what is happening in your body. For more on this, check out this post: How Stress Affects The Body And What You Can Do About It.

TRY THIS! A tip to help you find yourself.

I know, this may sound somewhat radical, but it is the secret to joyful living with a LOT less stress: take out your to-do list. I know, I know…you may be asking, “How does a to-do list help you find yourself?” Bear with me! Now, cross out anything that doesn’t absolutely need to get done today. Yes, you can have it written down to get done eventually, but if it doesn’t need to get done ASAP, take it off your list. Next, allow your BODY to guide you to prioritize your list from “don’t want to do” to “can’t wait to do”. Next, think about the LEAST pleasurable thing that is on your list. With PLEASURE in mind, think: How am I going to reward myself once I accomplish this task? The reward can be anything from a cat nap to partaking in 3 minutes of mindless Facebooking (as long as you can tear yourself away!).

Accessing the body’s wisdom is a right that we all were born with. It’s time to hang up our body hang-ups and allow for body wisdom to rule!

Remember…the first and most important thing that you can do to find yourself is to become aware of your body’s sensations. The best way to do that is to download and use this free Body Scan Meditation. Once you try out these tips, let me know how it went by writing a comment below.

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