As I wrote this post here in Okinawa, Japan, we were breathing a huge sigh of relief as Typhoon Hagibis had just decided to change direction and head more North toward the mainland. My heart goes out to those that lost their lives that day. It made me reflect on last time I had to stay calm in the middle of chaos.
The last typhoon that hit close to home about a month ago was enough to cause some damage. I really wasn’t looking forward to Hagibis one bit.
When I first arrived on the island 2 years ago, typhoons and hurricanes were foreign concepts. This desert-born girl had lived in land-locked places for 40 years.
Last year was our first REAL typhoon experience.
It came on gradually, at about 3 in the morning. The wind rattled the doors and the windows, pushing & pulling them…making me fully aware of its force and power.
But this was just the beginning.
As someone that is acutely aware of the science behind the mind-body connection, the first thing I noticed upon awaking was the rumbling and quaking of my internal core, in tune with the voices of the wind. It was becoming more and more difficult to stay calm.
As a deep feeler, I was acutely aware that this sensation was a direct response to the chaos that was ensuing in the natural world outside my door.
The internal & external trembling left me feeling as if the ground was being knocked right out from under me. My stomach was queasy.
Shaky. Insecure.
And dare I say, loaded with FEAR.
The rumbling continued for hours. My wife and I observed the palm trees outside bend all the way to the ground. A banana tree was ripped out of the ground. Electrical wires snapped and whipped violently in the air. With the nature outside in upheaval, I looked for ways to stay calm.
My heart pounded. My breath quickened and became shallow. My sweet pup whimpered and stayed glued to my side.
Then, suddenly…the storm broke. The sun gloriously emerged and calmed the chaos. Within minutes, I noticed my neighbors venturing outside to assess the damage and clean up a bit.
“This can’t be over,” I said to my wife. “Nah,” she said. “It’s just the eye of the storm.”
This was the place in the Storm where a sense of ultimate peace existed.
Stillness.
I took a series of deep breaths. I sensed the warmth of the sun on my face. I could feel my core begin to settle and ground. I was aware that this was the break, and that in a few short moments, the chaos would be back.
And it did come back.
But this time, I pulled out all of the tools I had to stay calm.
I saw myself, there, in the center of the storm that was blowing and whirring around me…still. I observed, within me, the light that continued to burn bright…my inner pilot light. No matter how much the wind gusts tried to put it out, it continued to burn.I envisioned my light burrowing down deep into the ground. From this, I sensed myself standing in my power.I looked for ways to better the experience, and bring more joy into it.
I grabbed my hammock that graced my living room. Turned on some tunes. Sang and danced and allowed the outside wind to dance through me. To clear away anything that no longer was working for me.
The storm ended, and I was grateful.
As you know, life is full of storms and chaos. It is easy to allow the chaos to get to you and affect you in less-than-favorable ways. Sometimes, the storms might even knock you back to a place that feels downright disorienting.
But then there’s this…even though life’s storms are big, scary, and at times may even seem never-ending, peace and tranquility can always be found in the light that burns within you.
The part that has always known who you are and what to do.One of the most effective ways I have found to connect with stillness, peace, and my inner pilot light is by doing this Grounding Practice. It is also extremely helpful when you need to make decisions that are in direct alignment with your truth, or when you feel totally discombobulated and you need to plug back into LIFE. You can get that right HERE.
Thank you thank you Toni! Even though I have spent a number of years in what I called my spiritual quest and did immerse myself in a beautiful ministry called Unity, which saved my life in many ways!! I “worked” in prayer ministry for 13 years (powerful), became a Licensed Unity Teacher and met my future husband there. Yet, after retiring went about another “new” life and somewhat practiced my Unity principles as I went thru life. My son committed suicide – I slipped into the drain of despair with drinking etc etc then I seemed to become “numb” about what life had to offer. I am on another search to “feel” again. Will not go into all of that as I wanted to write you after seeing your blog and reading most of it!!
It has “sparked” something in me so hopefully I will continue this spark and light it up once again! THANK YOU!
Ideas and feedback I will think about and write after I have read everything more thoroughly..I have what I call “sticktuiveness” I do not have a lot of that and my mind also skips everywhere.
So, you do know we as I am the mother of Kyle Black.
When I saw your blog I wanted to read it right away.
Of course, U am in middle of life and literally going on a short trip – today- need to pack!
THANK YOU AGAIN TONI – AND LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR BLOGS – GREAT HEARTFELT, EMOTIONAL, BEAUTIFUL WRITING! I am off to being “sparked”!
Kathy
Oops I don’t know how to send this??
Thank you for your response, Kathy! I so very much appreciate everything that you said. The journey that takes place after loss is a transformative one, and I can so relate. You are BEAUTIFUL…and yes…allow that spark to ignite and fuel you with renewed passion!